No rest for the dreamer

Good grief I feel as if I did not get a wink last night.

Dreamt about D & K. D insisting on some sort of divorce ritual so K could go with G, though he was hoping that K would reconsider and come back to him. Those assembled knew K was to marry G and had to go through whateverthehell this ritual was called so D would go. K was wearing a garish flowery dress and had cut her hair into one of them there awful close cuts. She is so beautiful that she wasn't ugly, but it wasn't the best look by any stretch.

The ritual was similar to a traditional wedding though of course in the opposite direction. It was supremely uncomfortable and awkward, watching friends go through this public pain. When I woke, it was a relief to know it wasn't real, yet thinking about the changes in both of their lives over the last month, I am left to wonder about him especially.

It's rough having a friend make a decision that seems so contrary to what they have claimed to want. It's sad not feeling any sort of compulsion to make contact but rather accepting his choice to stay on the island. It's painful to not feel welcome. It's too bad that common consensus is to give their marriage two or three years, max. But they are big kids and are responsible for themselves. Even as I do wish them well, I feel a fraud since I'm not convinced that there is much substance behind what is visible.

On the flip side, to have nothing but confidence and assurance that she made the right choice in getting married is wonderful. It is delightful to be so happy for a friend, even while watching the teeter totter. What was once balanced now seems so drastically favored to one side. Comme ca.

But dang, that dream was freakay. I hope for some actual rest tonight.